I'm sorry Ellie Goulding, it wasn't your fault. You sang your little heart out and turned out very good renditions of your tunes. Your band delivered. I can only blame what must have been the worst gig for me personally for the year, on the venue and the audience members. Your set was one hour and 10 minutes long, and yet it seemed like years.
Mr and I were fairly enthused about seeing you again - we went to see you at Heaven a couple of years ago, and it was great. You put on a good show. But this time at Jazz Cafe, we spent most of that hour and 10 making way for people to go back and forth, and up the stairs to the "VIP" area. It was pretty squashed, and people just could not seem to stay put. You mentioned that it was like having a gig in your living room. Nope, it was like watching a gig on a rush hour tube platform.
At one point I wanted to yell, can't you people sit here and watch her for a measly 3 minutes, while she sings a song? I wanted to see one song without having to squish myself against the wall. No luck. Even the guy with the quiff (think it might have been the new Radio 1 morning guy, or maybe that one off BBC3 who's the comedian) kept going back and forth. Yikes.
So you tried, but we were also distracted by the people who thought it a good idea to talk through your entire set. Mr tried to shush them, and then one guy got so frustrated he told them to go f*ck off. It was bad language, Ellie. The rest of us agreed with the guy. After about 45 minutes of this, Mr and I admitted defeat and watched the rest of your show sideways through the bar area. I thanked the chattering morons and told them they were a great audience as we went out.
In the future, we will be avoiding your gigs unless there's seating, or we get there when the doors open. Mr suggested the Empire might be a good one for you. You can fill it now. And enjoy New York. Hope there's more room there.
Marks out of 10: 4. Not your fault, Ellie. You were definitely a 9, singing.